17 October, 2011

hearts, on my sleeve..

I've been a little M.I.A (you like what i did there?) lately, well actually a whole month plus some change...various reasons, some I may divulge some I may not..

So I've been meaning to write honestly I have, I have started about four different posts in my blog journal (yeah I write them by hand first...something about writing things by hand makes me happy) but I haven't been able to finish them - lack of words, me being a perfectionist and not being happy with the way I'm writing them, not knowing how to pull back and edit some of what I've written...but I'm committed to being a little more into it.
So like usual, I'll just ramble and pull bits and pieces from each of the posts that I have started and hopefully it will turn into a great big amazingly rambly piece of blogging gold.

It's always all gold!
Things that I heart...
i heart getting butterflies.

i heart not being able to hide my big smiles

i heart random thoughts that make me smile when jump into my head at random times when I'm least expecting it

i heart flowers and how they smell

i heart coffee

i heart holding hands

i heart kisses

i heart my new l'occitane shampoo and conditioner

i heart my new forever 21 skinny jeans i bought online (MAJAH WIN!!)

i heart ramen

i heart finding ah.may.zing songs and playing them over and over in my car

I'm learning how to be positive - I should say I'm learning how to be positive all the time, a lot of the time I let negativity creep in and fill my head with thoughts that are damaging to me, my self esteem and my confidence - it also doesn't make me an awesome person to be around sometimes. So I'm really making an effort to work on it.
My main focus right now is body positivity. So before the "Majah Camping Trip '11" I went on a 2 week salad and redbull only diet. Yes. there was a boy involved. For me when I am thinner I feel sexier and more in control. I am working on this - i.e. not needed to be thin to feel sexy and in control. turns out my little 2 week diet craze was not pointless (coz it worked) but the boy didn't care about how not thin I was, that I didn't have an amazingly sculpted body (like he does!), he saw "me". and he had been seeing "me" prior to the "Majah Camping Trip '11". So I'm learning to be confident in who I am now, and not waiting until I reach that "perfect" weight where I will be happy. I am also learning that I don't need to change who I am for someone else, because there are people who like me for who I am now. I can't pretend that the boys "I like you for you" attitude didn't boost my confidence, coz it did on a MAJAH level. And that was what I needed. It's been too long. It's always nice to get compliments full stop. But I need to remember that I am doing it for me.
That's enough of the deep stuff, I still have 3 more half written posts that I need do...

This is what I've been doing for the last month....

watching my kids at sports day..

3rd grade pyramids..

Soccer team (the boy in the yellow is my favourite student)


dancing students..

festa de rama reggae festival

MAJAH Camping Trip '11 sunrise

learning to braid...i totally will be able to braid my future caramel children's hair!

Getting busy on some jerk with lovely LL

Impromptu night out - best night in a loooong time!

Tonga won the rugby..the Tongan ninja celebrated in Nagarekawa..

Graffiti obsession

trying out a new one..

ohhh hhheeeyyy Tokyo sunshine

heading back to Tokyo...with my trusty starbucks for the shinkansen ride

Forever 21 shopping with Gerry Hillson!

Whanau haka time

Pukanas (i think) with Maui while looking for monkeys!

Beachy midweek lunch date

GO CARPS! My first baseball game!

Leaving no room for excuses...learning Japanese!

That's all for my life right now.

Trying to be more on top of this blogging business...it's my birthday and Halloween soon, so expect some outfits posts...about time i know!!

Peace, love, light & positive vibrations.

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