This year I've been working on me. And so I should. Why not? I'm slowly learning to love myself and become confident I who I am NOW. No easy feat I tell you. I had a conversation in a semi non-sober state with a very non-sober man who said to me (this is translated from Japanese) "Ooohhh so you love yourself...scouf scouf" to which I replied "um yeah of course, why not? If I don't then why should anyone else?" well at least that's what I think I said..my Japanese isn't perfect...yet. He thought that it was extremely self indulgent & selfish to love myself, and in a way it is but that doesn't mean that I'm not a kind and compassionate person towards others. To my friends and family I am extremely loyal and caring. I can be a fairly demanding friend sometimes I think but I would do no less for any of them. Which brings me to frenemies.
Recently I've been feeling a little out of sorts lately with some friendships. I feel like I put in maximum effort and get nothing or barely anything at all. Within friendships and relationships there are some things I expect. Now I know that I shouldn't do things for a return but I'm not talking about physical objects but more like support for lack of better words. I have had the feeling recently of being used, perhaps.
So I'm now going through a process of elimination. If a relationship or friendship that I have isn't positive or mutually enjoyable and beneficial then it's not a friendship that I want or have time for in my life.